Do you know what it means to nete home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. (Henry Youngman)
晚上你回到家里，有一个女人会给你一眼爱情，一手温情，一怀柔情。你知道这意味着什么吗?这意味着你走错房子了，就是这个意思。
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. (Nash)
保持婚姻幸福的两大秘密是： 1. 一旦错了，立刻承认;2. 一旦对了，立刻闭嘴。
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.(Anonymous)
婚姻是唯一的和敌人同床共眠的战争。
Marriage is Love, Love is blind, therefore, Marriage is an institution for the Blind (Anonymous)
婚姻是因为爱情，爱情是盲目的。所以，婚姻是为瞎子所设的会所。
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." (Anonymous)
一个男人骄傲地说：”我老婆是天使“。另一个男人羡慕地说：“你真走运，我的那个还活着。”
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. (Henry Youngman)
有人问我和我老婆婚姻长久的秘诀：我们俩口子很会享受生活，每周两次去餐厅吃饭。烛光、晚餐、轻音乐、跳舞。她周二去一次，我周五去一次。
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)
我和我老婆幸福地生活了20年。然后…我们就相遇了。
Marriage isn't a word…… it's a sentence. (King Vidor)
婚姻不是一个词语… …它是一个判决(句子)。
Marriage requires a man to purchase 4 types of "Ring" - engagement ring, wedding ring, suffe-ring and endu-ring.
婚姻需要男人购买4种“ring”(戒指) ——订婚ring，结婚ring， suffe-ring (苦难)和endu-ring(忍耐)
Marriage life is full of excitement and frustration. In the first year, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. And in the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
婚姻生活充满了兴奋和沮丧。第一年，男人说话女人在听，第二年，女人说话男人在听，第三年，两人同时说话，邻居们在听。
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
爱情是一场长长甜甜的梦，婚姻就是闹钟。
They say that when a man holds a woman's hand and before marriage. It is love. After marriage is self-defense.
他们说：在婚前，男人紧握女人的手，那是爱;如果是婚后，那是自卫。
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
当新婚男人看上去很幸福，我们知道是为什么。但结婚十年的男人看上去很幸福，我们想知道是为什么。
We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as of their qualities. (Jacques Maritain)
我们爱的不是优点，我们爱的是人，有时是因为他们的缺陷，附带着他们的优点。
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. (Rita Rudner)
我认为穿过耳洞的男人对结婚准备得更为充分。他们已经经历了痛苦，而且购买了珠宝。
