烂笑话英文一：
At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse. Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside. Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please. The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.
烂笑话英文二：
Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends. Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!
烂笑话英文三：
After a beautiful purebred puppy wandered onto our back porch and made himself at home, my husband composed an ad for the "Lost and found" column of the local newspaper. It read: "A puppy, male, approximately nine months old, no collar, very friendly, found on Rockbridge Road. " I feared all the detail might encourage an unscrupulous person to claim the dog. As I methodically explained why each clue revealed too much, my husband dutifully crossed out the words. Finally, in frustration, he rewrote the ad, reducing it to a single sentence that I couldn't refute. It read: "Guess what I found?"
