英语幽默故事小短文一：
Friend for Dinner "Honey," said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。” “什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。” “这些我全都知道。” “那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?” “因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”
英语幽默故事小短文二：
An Advertisement for Modern Bicycle Tom saw an advertisement in a newspaper for a beautiful modern bicycle which cost £50, so he went to the shop to have a look. After examining the bicycle carefully, Tom turned to the shopkeeper and said, "There isn't a lamp on this bicycle, but there was one on the bicycle in your advertisement." "Yes, sir," answered the shopkeeper, "but the lamp isn't included in the price of the bicycle. It's an extra." "Not included in the price of bicycle?" Tom said angrily, "But that's not honest. If the lamp's in the advertisement, it should have been included in the price you gave there." "Well, sir," answered the shopkeeper calmly, "there is also a girl on the bicycle in our advertisement, shall we supply one for you too?"
汤姆在报纸上看到一辆很漂亮的摩登自行车的'广告，标价50英镑，于是他到商店去看一看。 汤姆很仔细地看完那辆自行车后，转过身对店主说：“这辆自行车少了一盏灯，但在广告上的自行车是有的。”“是的，先生，”店主回答说，“但那盏灯不包括在自行车的价格里面，是另外收费的。” “不包括在自行车价格里面?”汤姆很生气，“但这是不诚实的。如果灯在广告上，它就应该包括在你所标出的价格之内。” “嗯，先生，”店主冷静地回答：“在我们的自行车广告上还有一个女孩，难道我们也要为您提供一个吗?”
英语幽默故事小短文三：
Ashamed Soldier Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting. One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter. After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, "You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!" Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot. "Heavens!" the officer said. "Has that silly man really shot himself?" He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. "I'm sorry, sir," he said, "but I missed again."
彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：“彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。” 彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。 “上帝!”教官叫起来，“难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?” 他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。“对不起，长官，”他说，“我还是没有命中。”
