英语笑话
(一)
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep? A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
(二)
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do? -- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。 -- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的? -- 墓地守墓人。
(三)
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。 这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的'美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
(四)
my little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my preciouslittle dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers! Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字 布朗夫人：哦， 亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
(五)
Bring me the winner -- Waiter, this lobster has only oneclaw. -- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight. -- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧 -- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。 -- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。 -- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
